These little end of year reflections are always interesting. I have memory issues, so by the time I get to the end of any randomly selected unit of time I’m constantly surprised at what all transpired there in. Each year, whether at the end of western calendar year or just before my own personal new year of my birthday in October, I look back on how far I’ve come since the last time.

There are some advantages to having memory issues. The first is that I am perpetually living in the present. At least mentally. Physically, my body has been stuck in the trauma of my childhood for so long that it doesn’t know how to sleep, but that is one thing we’ve been working on this year. (more on that later). The second is that good things get to count twice. The first time around, and then again when I am reminded enough to remember them.

Looking back (through photos on my phone, events inked in bright blue sharpie on our kitchen calendar, and the daily notes I take in my planner), I was a little surprised at how good for us 2024 turned out to be. Despite the general state of the world and the very real anxieties and griefs therein, we were fortunate to pass another year with a warm hearth and happy home.

My partner and I celebrated 24 years of smooching, 19 of being one another’s next of kin. I read 46 books for fun and hundreds (!?) of short stories and essays for work. One of my proudest achievements is co-editing Reckoning 9, which I promise to make my entire online personality just as soon as it drops within the next month. I also did a little freelance editing, helping some folks with their novels and short stories at the developmental stages, particularly with world-building (a noteworthy skill of mine). My partner, the chemist, worked on some really cool projects I can’t tell anyone about.

We played a lot of Magic: the Gathering this year, a little D&D. I worked on lots of crafts, which I will probably put in a separate post to link here later. We’ve continued settling into the apartment, painting several rooms, including our bedroom which is now a lovely little swamp haven for me and my fancy philodendron.

We spent quite a lot of time with friends and family. This continues to be the trend since we moved closer to so many in June 2022. We grew hot peppers over the summer at one friend’s house, then made hot sauce in the fall. We had family visit us here quite a few times, with two extended stays for our oldest (10) niece. I really enjoyed spending so much time with her, even if she did inform me that I look like I’d kidnap children (“For fun! To spend time with them! Because you love them! You’d so ask their parents if you could keep them!” she sputters earnestly while we explain to her that that is, in fact, not kidnapping).

We visited several of the local gardens and museums, including a really fun after-hours event at the Museum of Natural Sciences that was created around the theme of Magic and Monsters, complete with Dungeons and Dragons programming and NPCs and quests and so many dice vendors. I also touched a snake! I have always had a pretty severe phobia but as with all things I try to push myself in safe areas. This snake was being held by a beautiful elven maiden. As she was clearly immortal and well familiar with such creatures, I allowed her to hold the magnificent king snake while I tried not to tremble too much or hyperventilate and I gentle touched it. IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

I continue to hike and frolic. In 2024, I managed to go at least three times a month to one of the many local parks where I collect bird calls on my Merlin app. I added a few new lifers this year and rescued quite a few tiny snakes from paved running tracks, hence my determination to get over (just a little) of my fear. Notably this year, I witnessed a great blue heron mating display and saw my first swamp rainbow.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I went back to therapy. After realizing that my sleep has been wrecked my entire life and that it is a miracle I have survived, much less graduated college three times, I started getting help for that. Turns out 46 years without sleeping more than two hours at a time or ever really reaching deep sleep is pretty bad for you mentally and physically. After getting me on a good set of meds for sleep (one even helps with my allergies!), my psychiatrist recommended EMDR therapy for trauma. It is not an exaggeration to say that these 12 sessions have changed my life. 15/10 recommend. Here’s a link to the EMDR Institute’s informational page, if you’d like more information. If you have any questions about the process, I would be happy to tell you about my experiences.

Now, here we are, the first evening of the year. My boots are dusty from a first day hike. I have hoppin’ johns and greens waiting on me. Remarkably, I am filled with hope. I know that things will be hard. We’ve had some setbacks as a nation, as a world, but I’d be a poor historian not to point out that we have weathered these before. That many among us have weathered these all along. We have also had some extraordinary steps forward, and we—as a whole—continue experience unprecedented growth in love, acceptance, and compassion. As hard as it has been, as hard as it is, and no doubt will be, I know that we will keep doing our best, fiercely, unfailingly. For my part, I can only hope that the almost belligerent optimism rising within me rubs off on everything and everyone I touch.

Happy New Year.